101 Ways to be really annoying
1) break wind and stare intently at the person next to you making everyone think it was them.
2) When someone is trying to do sums shout out random numbers.
3) Scratch your bum then ask someone to smell your finger.
4) Grow a pony tail / mullet.
5) Laugh insanely at unfunny jokes.
6) Constantly hum a single note whilst rocking back and fourth and tapping your fingers on the table.
7) When someone is trying to tell you something, hock up phlegm and spit while you are in mid sentience.
8) Tread in dog poo before you get into someone's car.
9) Constantly repeat every word someone says.
10) When asked for directions, send the person in completely the wrong way, or give them hopelessly complicated directions impossible to remember.
11) Do a poo in the urinal.
12) Ask a big lady "when is it due".
13) Stare intently at someone who is eating.
14) Whilst eating thoroughly chew the food then show the person opposite the contents of your mouth.
15) Randomly wink at strangers.
16) Poo in the tumble dryer.
17) Tell someone a really long joke then forget the punchline.
18) Make sounds like you are driving a car everywhere you go.
19) Whenever someone asks you a question answer by saying "what would Jesus do?".
20) Constantly talk in a robot voice.
21) Hum the batman tune over and over, emphasising the word batman each time at the end.
22) Tell your girlfriend her mom has nice tits.
23) Excessively nod your head and say yes whilst someone is talking to you.
24) Phone someone at 4am and hanging up after 3 rings.
25) Take soiled underpants back to the shop and ask for a refund.
26) Tear out the last page of a book with a surprise ending.
27) Tell your girlfriends dad her favourite sexual positions.
28) Randomly alternate between overly friendly and ignoring someone.
29) Ask someone the time every five minutes.
30) Play eyespy in the pub.
31) When playing monopoly tell everyone how good it would be if it were real money.
32) Ask your girlfriend for really weird sex then call her fridges when she refuses.
33) Set your girlfriends dad web browsers default page to watersports.com.
34) Tell your girlfriend you would like to try bondage, tie her up then go to the pub.
35) Ask your girlfriends dad advice on treating crabs.
36) Use your fingers to gesture "quote marks" with every sentence.
38) Tell people how the could save the planet by recycling.
39) Stop talking as soon as someone enters the room.
40) Masterbate in church.
41) When climaxing shout your girlfriends best friends / dads name.
42) Fill up your best friends answer phone with a rambling diatribe about your x girlfriend.
43) During someone's presentation / speech cough and shout bastard / wanker at the same time.
44) Talk really slowly.
45) Cough constantly through a film at the cinema.
46) Smoke a cigarette whilst making love.
47) When making love always wear rubber gloves.
48) When making love laugh constantly.
49) Break wind whilst your partner is giving you oral sex.
50) When your friends partner breaks up with him / her tell them not to worry because they were a crap shag anyway.
51) When making love always cum after 30 seconds then ask your girlfriend "how was it for you".
52) Keep trying to swot an imaginary fly.
53) Play speed garage / thrash metal whilst making love and keep in time with the music.
54) When sharing a flat individually label everything, including the cornflakes.
55) When making love constantly stare in the mirror.
56) Never use toilet paper.
57) Draw moustaches on every picture you encounter.
58) Only ever speak in a language you made up.
59) Take pictures of your girlfriend on the toilet and post them on facebook.
60) Write everything in bold, italic, underlined, capital letters and without punctuation.
61) Ask to borrow your friends computer for 2 minutes then "accidentally" reformat the hard drive.
62) End every text message with omg wtf lol.
63) When having a poo in a public toilet, never close the cubicle door.
64) Superglue your girlfriends vibrator in the on position.
65) Tell your girlfriend if she loves you she would swallow.
66) Wear a suit and tie instead of pyjamas.
67) Never finish a sente
68) Put chewing gum in someone's hair.
69) Give up smoking then become an anti smoking campaigner and continuously moan about second hand smoke.
70) Never say sorry.
71) Collect all of your bodily fluids for posterity.
72) Complain in writing about everything.
73) Continuously talk about "being in the war" even though you were not even born.
74) Teach your Childs first words to be "jobbies" / "tits" ect.
75) Constantly borrow money but never pay it back.
76) Take every word in the bible literally.
77) Continuously talk about trust in a relationship, then shag all his/her mates.
78) Do something really annoying, say sorry then do it again.
79) Ask someone who is asleep "are you awake?"
80) When in bed with your partner and unable to get to sleep try counting sheep out loud.
81) Keep disagreeing with someone even though you are clearly wrong.
82) Put a sweaty sock in your partners pillow case.
83) Break wind and hold the duvet over your partners head.
84) Have a poo while your partner is having a relaxing bath.
85) Play whale song 24 hours a day, every day.
86) Play computer games 23 hours a day then talk really loudly when your partners favourite TV program is on.
87) Repeatedly ask what's for dinner then turn down any suggestions because you don't fancy it.
88) Refuse to wash on religious grounds.
89) Insist on having a birthday party for your imaginary friend.
90) Chew every mouthful of food 32 times.
91) When someone is drinking a bottle of pop, squeeze the bottle so the pop comes out their nose.
92) Tell your family you have lost your mojo and that no one can go to the toilet until it is found.
93) Pretend you have touretts when visiting your in-laws.
94) End every phone call by telling the person you have to go because you need a poo.
95) Advertise your girlfriends mobile number as a 24 hour sex chat line.
96) Every night insist on being read a bed time story.
97) Start to cry every time you don't get your own way.
98) Tell your partner you love them 972 times a day.
99) Talk to random strangers about your hemorrhoids.
100) When Everyone is out of the room tell Alexa to set an alarm for 4am
101) Then tell Alexa to set an alarm for 5am
James Childs Complete Archive, full size images:
https://drive.google.com/folderview?id=0B0_C-CrDdi9IemJBZEh2b2duanc
A Selection of Artwork and Diagrams by James Childs:
http://www.jameschilds2020.blogspot.com.jameschilds.co.uk/
Have a great day
James
1) break wind and stare intently at the person next to you making everyone think it was them.
2) When someone is trying to do sums shout out random numbers.
3) Scratch your bum then ask someone to smell your finger.
4) Grow a pony tail / mullet.
5) Laugh insanely at unfunny jokes.
6) Constantly hum a single note whilst rocking back and fourth and tapping your fingers on the table.
7) When someone is trying to tell you something, hock up phlegm and spit while you are in mid sentience.
8) Tread in dog poo before you get into someone's car.
9) Constantly repeat every word someone says.
10) When asked for directions, send the person in completely the wrong way, or give them hopelessly complicated directions impossible to remember.
11) Do a poo in the urinal.
12) Ask a big lady "when is it due".
13) Stare intently at someone who is eating.
14) Whilst eating thoroughly chew the food then show the person opposite the contents of your mouth.
15) Randomly wink at strangers.
16) Poo in the tumble dryer.
17) Tell someone a really long joke then forget the punchline.
18) Make sounds like you are driving a car everywhere you go.
19) Whenever someone asks you a question answer by saying "what would Jesus do?".
20) Constantly talk in a robot voice.
21) Hum the batman tune over and over, emphasising the word batman each time at the end.
22) Tell your girlfriend her mom has nice tits.
23) Excessively nod your head and say yes whilst someone is talking to you.
24) Phone someone at 4am and hanging up after 3 rings.
25) Take soiled underpants back to the shop and ask for a refund.
26) Tear out the last page of a book with a surprise ending.
27) Tell your girlfriends dad her favourite sexual positions.
28) Randomly alternate between overly friendly and ignoring someone.
29) Ask someone the time every five minutes.
30) Play eyespy in the pub.
31) When playing monopoly tell everyone how good it would be if it were real money.
32) Ask your girlfriend for really weird sex then call her fridges when she refuses.
33) Set your girlfriends dad web browsers default page to watersports.com.
34) Tell your girlfriend you would like to try bondage, tie her up then go to the pub.
35) Ask your girlfriends dad advice on treating crabs.
36) Use your fingers to gesture "quote marks" with every sentence.
38) Tell people how the could save the planet by recycling.
39) Stop talking as soon as someone enters the room.
40) Masterbate in church.
41) When climaxing shout your girlfriends best friends / dads name.
42) Fill up your best friends answer phone with a rambling diatribe about your x girlfriend.
43) During someone's presentation / speech cough and shout bastard / wanker at the same time.
44) Talk really slowly.
45) Cough constantly through a film at the cinema.
46) Smoke a cigarette whilst making love.
47) When making love always wear rubber gloves.
48) When making love laugh constantly.
49) Break wind whilst your partner is giving you oral sex.
50) When your friends partner breaks up with him / her tell them not to worry because they were a crap shag anyway.
51) When making love always cum after 30 seconds then ask your girlfriend "how was it for you".
52) Keep trying to swot an imaginary fly.
53) Play speed garage / thrash metal whilst making love and keep in time with the music.
54) When sharing a flat individually label everything, including the cornflakes.
55) When making love constantly stare in the mirror.
56) Never use toilet paper.
57) Draw moustaches on every picture you encounter.
58) Only ever speak in a language you made up.
59) Take pictures of your girlfriend on the toilet and post them on facebook.
60) Write everything in bold, italic, underlined, capital letters and without punctuation.
61) Ask to borrow your friends computer for 2 minutes then "accidentally" reformat the hard drive.
62) End every text message with omg wtf lol.
63) When having a poo in a public toilet, never close the cubicle door.
64) Superglue your girlfriends vibrator in the on position.
65) Tell your girlfriend if she loves you she would swallow.
66) Wear a suit and tie instead of pyjamas.
67) Never finish a sente
68) Put chewing gum in someone's hair.
69) Give up smoking then become an anti smoking campaigner and continuously moan about second hand smoke.
70) Never say sorry.
71) Collect all of your bodily fluids for posterity.
72) Complain in writing about everything.
73) Continuously talk about "being in the war" even though you were not even born.
74) Teach your Childs first words to be "jobbies" / "tits" ect.
75) Constantly borrow money but never pay it back.
76) Take every word in the bible literally.
77) Continuously talk about trust in a relationship, then shag all his/her mates.
78) Do something really annoying, say sorry then do it again.
79) Ask someone who is asleep "are you awake?"
80) When in bed with your partner and unable to get to sleep try counting sheep out loud.
81) Keep disagreeing with someone even though you are clearly wrong.
82) Put a sweaty sock in your partners pillow case.
83) Break wind and hold the duvet over your partners head.
84) Have a poo while your partner is having a relaxing bath.
85) Play whale song 24 hours a day, every day.
86) Play computer games 23 hours a day then talk really loudly when your partners favourite TV program is on.
87) Repeatedly ask what's for dinner then turn down any suggestions because you don't fancy it.
88) Refuse to wash on religious grounds.
89) Insist on having a birthday party for your imaginary friend.
90) Chew every mouthful of food 32 times.
91) When someone is drinking a bottle of pop, squeeze the bottle so the pop comes out their nose.
92) Tell your family you have lost your mojo and that no one can go to the toilet until it is found.
93) Pretend you have touretts when visiting your in-laws.
94) End every phone call by telling the person you have to go because you need a poo.
95) Advertise your girlfriends mobile number as a 24 hour sex chat line.
96) Every night insist on being read a bed time story.
97) Start to cry every time you don't get your own way.
98) Tell your partner you love them 972 times a day.
99) Talk to random strangers about your hemorrhoids.
100) When Everyone is out of the room tell Alexa to set an alarm for 4am
101) Then tell Alexa to set an alarm for 5am
James Childs Complete Archive, full size images:
https://drive.google.com/folderview?id=0B0_C-CrDdi9IemJBZEh2b2duanc
A Selection of Artwork and Diagrams by James Childs:
http://www.jameschilds2020.blogspot.com.jameschilds.co.uk/
Have a great day
James
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